Her Lies

But what do you do when you feel it slipping away? Do you hold on tighter or let it go?

缘为冰。I know but I can’t let go.

It’s been so hard. I feel myself slipping away and my heart only half there. It’s not fair but what am I to do? Things will never be the same.

He helped me out of a broken place, but breaks me with every move he makes. I’m so exhausted.

A year ago, I met this boy who dazzled me and lit up my world. Half a year later I fell in love. A few months after that I had my heart broken beyond repair. And now, as much as I’ve tried to love, I can’t.

I know I’m lying. I speak of love, future plans, longing, and belonging, but I just want relief. I’m so tired trying to make something out of the void and I can’t anymore. I don’t trust myself or believe in us anymore.

But tell me why it feels so right? Why when I’m with him my world stops spinning? Why the only place I can find comfort is in his arms? Why I just want to treasure him and keep us safe forever? Why does it feel so right even though it feels like I’m slipping in and out of love?

I don’t know what to do. I don’t know where it’ll go. I can’t read myself between the lines so tell me, what now?

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