The simplest words can mean so much.
Words that aren’t spoken mean too much.
Lately I’ve realized almost all my frustrations stem from words not spoken. I tend to hold my tongue and keep my thoughts to myself. When I feel like something is off, I just keep quiet and hope the problem will go away. I’m not really the type of person who can express their emotions with ease. My emotions don’t translate very well into words. They don’t become words that drip off my tongue like honey or flow through my mouth like a creek. They tend to be articulated in a very sporadic manner. I’m so accustomed to not speaking my mind that I have set up walls upon walls of filters for my thoughts. And even if they somehow make it past those walls, they’re stuck scrambling for the right combinations in the alphabet. If I’m really lucky, I might find the combinations and let some of those thoughts stumble out. But after that, I am left with nothing.
I seem to never be able to pinpoint exactly how I feel, so I just avoid discussing it altogether. I hate the idea of not being able to know the exact.
When I see girls who can voice their emotions, I envy them. Regardless of whether it’s voicing their concerns about their family, friends, or significant other, I wish I had the ability to just shout out how I feel. Would things be better if I talked about it? Or am I just being wishful?