I visited Emory University last week, and it was beautiful. The campus was gorgeous, Atlanta seemed fine enough, and the school had such a nice vibe to it. For a few days after the visit, I thought I was sure of my choice.
But then I was scared.
I was scared because all of a sudden, I realized I had not the slightest clue what I wanted to do after Emory. Do I stay in Georgia? I mean, after the initial excitement faded away, I was lost.
I love California. I love the weather, the people, the food, and most of all, how vibrant it is. I didn’t know how much I loved this place until I drank my third cup of horrible tasting boba and had whataburger in place of in-n-out when I was staying with my relatives in Texas. Then I started thinking of the future. If I go out of state for college, how do I return to California? Sure, I will definitely gain maturity and independence by going to school away from my family. But is it really worth skipping out on 4 or more of the few years I have left with my family?
From there, my thoughts just snowballed. I started imagining the night my parents send me off on a plane. When they go home, will my mom know how much food to make? Who will wash the dishes, or get the mail? Who will lock the door after they head out for a stroll at night, and who will tell them about things they never experienced? Who will translate for them?
So many things just jumped into my mind that I felt uncertain.
Why is it that our education system expects teenagers like myself to make a choice that might affect the rest of their lives at such a young age? For God’s sake I’m only 16. Choosing between Frosted Flakes and Cocoa Puffs is difficult. How in the world am I supposed to know what I want to do 4+ years in the future when I don’t even know which brand of cereal I want for breakfast?!
But in any case, I got two things out of my visit at Emory.
One: I will apply there because it feels wrong not to, but I probably won’t apply ED as I had planned.
Two: I really freaking love my parents even though we’re bickering over stupid things like buying a yearbook 50% of the time.
Maybe I didn’t find perfection in Emory, but I do have a better understanding of what I want now. My little game of college applications is about to go through some major renovations!